Monday, September 26, 2016

September 26, 2016 - Ups And Downs

                                                   Courtney's Average Meal in Brazil
                               Rice and Beans, Salad, Steamed Vegetable, Meat and Chicken
                                     There are usually 4-5 items on her plate - She loves it!

Hey everybody!

I remember one day this week saying to my companion, ´´don’t you think it’s weird that everything is going so well? Like somehow something really bad is going to happen soon? I feel like something’s going to happen when we least expect it...´´ boy was I right. I feel like somehow my life here is like a reality tv show for you guys back home, waiting on the next episode to see what happens next... so plot twist from last week’s happiness and hope for the future, our investigators Irmã Maria José and Gessiara didn’t end up getting baptized. They actually dropped us like 2 days before their baptisms. It’s a long story, but the short version is that Irmã Maria counted up all of her expenses to care for her, her 2 granddaughters, her son and her son’s wife, and realized the money to pay her tithing wouldn’t leave anything to spare. So instead of trusting in the blessings we promised her from obedience like she had already seen with the other commandments, she got nervous that she wouldn’t have enough money to pay for things like food and water if she paid her tithing, got scared and told us not to come back. Free agency really is a divine principle we need to understand better. But it is truly devastating to see the happiness and salvation of someone you love so dearly just crumble in between your fingers without you being able to do anything.

One of the hardest parts is that you’re not technically allowed as a missionary to feel sad or let people know how you’re feeling inside, so you just kinda have to leave awkwardly from the house that you just felt like dropped down on top of you, and have to hurry to your next appointment and act like nothing happened and you’re not secretly having a mental breakdown inside. And then your other poor investigators wonder why you’re crying while bearing your testimony on the word of wisdom....

At least we had the women’s conference to help get my mind off of things. I love how they taught about spiritual preparation, how the world isn’t very good right now and by the scriptures, its only gonna get worse. I like how they teach us that we need to have a new personal level of conversion, it doesn’t do it anymore just to memorize the scripture mastery and go to church on Sunday. We need to be literal defenders of Israel. I also loved President Uchtdorfs talk on faith, who knows how that man has so many inspirations. I’ve been thinking my whole mission on what faith means, and he kind of summed it up. Its trust! Trust in the one thing you know to be true, not because you saw it or heard about it, but because you know deep down that you felt it, and that’s not something anyone can take away. That when all goes right, you know who’s really at the head of the wheel and you know of His promises that will be fulfilled one day.

But this next week is full of new surprises and second chances. It’s the last week in the transfer and we´ll see what’s in store for me. I’m hoping to get a fresh start somewhere else but we´ll just wait and see! Oh and here are some pics of the food I eat every day, I realized I had never sent a pic for you guys. Here we have the classic and beloved rice and beans, some steamed vegetables, salad (which is composed of lettuce and tomatoes just like on SpongeBob), meat from a cow I think, chicken, and that’s it I think. There’s always about 4 or 5 things on your plate at a time. It’s the best!! I love you all have a wonderful week! I’ll be thinking of you watching conference!!! Don’t fall asleep!! (that means you, my entire family)

Sister Walker

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